update scrooge! :D

raaaaaaaaaaaight so i havent updated my blog in like AGES and for want of something to do...errrr...i overcame my couch/computer potato-ness and decided to do the honours...
dont ask me where ive been all these days, and the answer to that is nowhere but here. dont ask. shitty state of mind i am in...you know...those times when you dont even have the strength to make up your mind about something? argh yes. 'orrible i tell you, but nevertheless, i have managed to cough up a few pieces of writing while my brain is in hiatus and here goes:

Beyond the pale

Everybody needs some darkness in their lives; I wouldn’t call you my light even though you have delivered me from a different kind of darkness, an all consuming one: to me you are the solace I find in the darkness, you are the peace I find in the blindness. To me, you are the dark for there are, after all varying degrees of darkness in every night. You are the lofty chill that spreads over me, you are what hides my presence from the all seeing Eye. With you I am part of the wind, sailing with you like light to exorcise the dreary grey. You are the silencing of the chaotic world, a blanket over the austere jagged pinions of steel scraping against the sky. You are the gently suffocation welcomed after too many nights spent in the oppressive, naked, biting, nipping cold.
You are not my warmth, for I can make myself believe it doesn’t exist.
You are not my perception, you are not my anchor: I can will them away as I lie down to sleep. You are not my everything, nor are you my nothing, for I can twist it, bend it, sear it, paint the butterflies black and blue.
You are not my reality either, for reality can be broken and mended into another reality.
You are not my light, for I have shuttered myself away from the rays of light.
You are neither a spectrum of self-delusion, nor a fickle flicker of my eyes.

You are neither the bird song that I drink in so eagerly, nor are you the bard shaping the barren landscape with the melody of lustrous words.
You are neither my gift, nor my curse; you are not my deliverance for even within your addictive darkness I am still lost. You are neither my destiny nor the tumble down the cliff. You are my dark in the light, the dry enclosure I fled into during the storm that I will leave when the skies are dried of the grey: but is the storm here to stay? How is that you will not let me go nor lead me astray?

Where the Sky and Earth unite

The night time sky, the bejeweled celestials blinking back at me was mirrored in my eyes. I stared starry-eyed at the spectacle, at the grandeur of the sight and felt a deep echo of contentment run through me. I shared a strange affinity with this scene; it ran so deep that at times if I was denied the Beauty, I felt my world crumple miserably.
This night, the sky shared her domain with clouds closer to home, clustered around like an ethereal archipelago: it was like having an aerial view of grouped islands, except they were moving languidly across the sky.

I felt the familiar presence again, that familiar touch as the wind wrapped herself around me with a flight of a thousand brown bereft leaves. I closed my eyes and indulged myself in the serenity of the moment and felt the familiar but powerful sedative they called love, narcotize me.
But it was a strange love that we shared, transcending all physical contact: for he was closer to me than my heart was, he was always with me, within me, a part of my soul…
I opened my eyes once more to behold the haven above me, and spotted those eyes that gazed back at me serenely, trapped in a distance.
My lips moved, silently wording my thoughts which with the sweep of the wind were carried along with the winding leaves and my trapped scent.

I looked away as a silent throbbing pain welled inside me. I let the sensation of life flow through my being, the soft grass pillowed under my head, the light but moist air clinging onto my skin, the gentle rustle that accompanied the dance of a thousand leaves, the soft music of the night charming my skin into a deep blush, my pale hands placed beside my head at an angle feeling the gentle caress of the Earth below.

This is my domain, I thought as I took in all the sights and the smells and the sensations that accompanied the darkening Earth gently lit up the half moon that hung like a great, silver eye. The world I knew was painted in rich shadows, the details erased with only the blurry outlines standing out.

An eerie silence accompanied the return of the wind and as I watched the sky, I felt my eyelids grow heavy. Succumbing to the peculiar sensation I closed my eyes, the wind twirling about me like a long forgotten melody, carrying the essence of a soft flute piping in and out of the words of the fiddle.
I felt a gentle smile touch my lips as I was drowned in a thousand emotions, a thousand sweet words spoken in my ear.

“This is your world,” I heard him say, his musical voice tilted by a light rhythmic accent. “And the sky above is mine.”

Reality washed by me like an unseen tide, pulling me along with the watery voices of the Sea.

“But where you and I meet, is where the Sky and Earth unite, and where you and I lie, the portals of heaven are open and the world is as one.”

His musical voice gushed through me, a gentle pressure pressing against my hand. I twined my fingers with his and whispered:

“We are where the Sky and Earth dwell…”